Sunday, November 11, 2007

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to a persons "...ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups." (Source: Wikipedia)

One of the measures of EI is our emotional quotient (EQ). It is believed that a large part of our success in life is based on our EQ. How we manage our emotions and the way we relate to others determines how successful and satisfied we are at work, home, and with friends. Our EQ is the ability to make and deepen connections at three levels: with ourselves (personal mastery), with another person (one-to-one), and within groups/teams.

My older daughter S, is at the age (11years) where she cannot tolerate boys. She has a little brother that constantly irritates her. She has classmates that throw tantrums, cries and disrupts the class every day!! And as many as 10 times in a 6 hour period. They are a nuisance, she says. I know every girl goes through such a period, before things change and they start to be so totally interested in boys!

We know a boy, J, aged 9, who suffers from severe eczema. He is red from the back of his ears down to his toes, as a result of the itch he suffers and his inability to stop scratching himself. J goes to a different school from my children but we have met him at chess tournaments. He has two other brothers who do not have this eczema problem. We noticed him partly because of his severe eczema.

A number of weeks ago, we were at a church carnival. J saw my daughter and approached her. With a big smile on his face, he came up and said: "Hi S. Do you know me? I have seen you at chess tournaments."

My daughter rolled her eyes and said: "Yes," turned, and was about to walk away. I interuppted and addresssed him by name: "Yes J, we know you. I did not realise that you came to this church as well. It is nice meeting you here."

He was so pleased. He beemed, said goodbye, and went off to the other carnival stalls. I thought it was so charming of him to come up and say hello. My daughter got a shelling from me for her behavoir, which I felt was totally rude.

She was so lacking in EQ, dont you think?


Iml said...

She must have been too surprise to react amicably. Give her time.

Judy said...

A phase she is going through but you bring your children up well so she will be fine.

There should be more mothers like you who will take the time to teach our children manners, friendliness, compassion, love, all the general ethics which will lead to the world being a better place.

bp said...

J has a crush on S? But maybe S doesn't think he's her type?

stay-at-home mum said...

no la! I think he was surprised to see us in church too. Dont you think he was so charming? and yes, S, just doesnt think he is her type. No boys are currently.

Thanks for the compliment.

Dont think she was surprised, what i did not like was her response incl the rolling eyes.