Friday, June 29, 2007

Now I understand....

Now I understand why all the old aunties always advise us to marry early and have kids early.

I started too late. I am on the verge of adding another candle to my birthday cake (the day is next week, but celebrations start this today! Yippee!!), i.e. on the verge of middle edge, on the verge of a mid-life crisis, suffering from symthoms of peri-menopause with mood swings, etc.…… and I still have to wake up at night for night feeds, change diapers, and run after the kids, nag them on their homework, teach them to read, teach them to write, teach them to colour within the lines! I just have no patience anymore!

Many a times I just feel tooo tired. Too tired to play with the kids, too tired to do fun activities with them, too tired to want to do anything, except to sit back for a nice massage, have a drink, go out with my friends, go shopping, and eh, … blog.

In our parents’ time, they were married by 25 and had 3 or more kids before they were 30. By the time they were mid 40s, they were enjoying their time – mahjong during weekends, shopping, cooking, etc. We are just starting too late. Kids at past 40? Never heard of previously!! But I did it (with Little D). Now I am paying the price.

Now, I am the "old auntie". When I meet young couples, I tell them not to be like me and have kids late. Have them early so that you can enjoy them more and be able to do the fun things with them while you still have the energy. Also, you will save money... no need for fertility doctors, IVF, etc. Also, you will not be old and grumpy like me, when I am with the kids.

A friend of mine who had her last child at 41 told me of an incident. She was looking for an enrichment class for her youngest child and when she walked into one such centre, the receptionist asked her: "Auntie, looking for class for your grand child?" She walked right out! No, they did not get her business. (mind you, she doesn't look that old, and is quite trendy). I sure hope it doesn't happen to me when the time comes when I am doing the same for Little D!!

So looks like it is a good thing to listen to the advise dished out by the old aunties. If I did, I would be semi-retired from child rearing by now! What do you think?

14 comments:

tigerfish said...

I do agree with you but no motherly instinct, what to do ?

mott said...

Yea...I'm SO aunty also! I keep telling ALL my newly wedded friends to forget about spending time with their spouse..just start hvg 'em.

but..of course, it's hard for them to understand..becoz they just can't see it la.

oh well....

mumsgather said...

Hahaha. You sound just like me! I hope not to be called grandma too. Aiyoh!

Oh before I forget. Happy Birthday!!

bp said...

Advance happy birthday greetings to you first! Have a good time on the actual day, with your family and friends!

I guess whatever age we're at, there's one thing I saw in a magazine the other day, that may help, if we remind ourselves we are still most suited for the job of mommy to our kids.

But yes, I totally understand what you mean by feeling too tired, and I can do with more energy everyday, too!

Jonzz said...

It may be easy to dish out advise but I think difficult to follow it because we probably not mature enough to follow it then.

Dr ve Thru said...

Whether you have kids young or old, you still go through the grumpiness. Hahaha.
Have you read mumsgather's blog? You may relate to her but really, age does not matter, the love and quality time you spend with them is all that matters.
Young mothers too feel tired. I was 31 when I had my daughter and I was always tired even though I didn't have to get up to feed her as my husband did that. :P

stay-at-home mum said...

May God bless all of us with more energy, so that we can all do meaningful and enjoyable things with our kids!!

Hi Tigerfish

I think motherly instincts just kick in once the baby arrives. I was that way too. But the way i treat my kids sometimes (mine is the school of hard knocks..)I sometimes think i still have no motherly instincts!!

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi Jonzz
Yeah, u are right. Easy to say, but hard to do. Even for me, the kids have to do as I say,a nd I hope at times they dont do as I do!! :P

NomadicMom said...

Aye...I had my kids young...but also always tired one...

Now..10.30 pm.. I wanna go zzzz liow..

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi nomadicmom

I even more tired....in bed by 930 latest. Often asleep even before the kids :(

Victor said...

I hope that I am in time to wish you A Very Happy Birthday.

stay-at-home mum said...

Thanks Victor
its never too late. :)

Hijackqueen said...

"In our parents’ time, they were married by 25 and had 3 or more kids before they were 30."

Wow, how did you guess my age! hehe...

There's always 2 side of the coin. When I was married at 23, all my other girlfriends still partying like mad and had a good jolly time. I had my first child at 25, they started to call me aunty. At 27, I had my 2nd child and they started courting. At 30 when I had my last child, they started to get married and some are expecting their first child now.

Well.... i am actually glad to start early tho a bit envy of my other girlfriends who get to enjoy their early life.

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi Hijackqueen
When u are enjoying yourself, your friends will be busy changing naps, feeding bottles, night feeds etc. You will still be young enuf to go to the disco when your kdis come of age!!