Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Save for the kids?

Are you the saving or the spending sort? Do you plan to leave a bundle of cash or assets for your children?

I am a saver. What did you expect? An accountant by training, sure super scrooge with cash, right? Count every cent? Check out the banks that give the best interest rates? They dont call us bean counters for nothing!

No. I save for myself. My hubby believes in saving for the kids. Sometimes I dont think that is absolutely necessary. No need to leave each of them a house and a big fat saving account. Saving for the kids will make them too comfortable. We were raised in middle income families during the time when we only got treats when it was a special occassion. But now, the kids get these treats every week, for some even every day. That comes with affluence, I guess. As a result, they are not "hungry" at all. They dont know what it is like not to have something. They dont feel the need to strive and work hard for something they want. They dont know how to count their blessings. Everything is given to them on a silver platter. They become spoilt. They refuse to share. They demand for material possessions. (Good thing they are not into branded goods....yet!)

I want my kids to appreciate what they are given, and not expect it to be given to them. I want them to work hard for what they want. As such, I told hubby, dont tell them we have saved for them. Let them work for what they want. At the end of the day, if we leave them anything, it is a bonus to them. I dont want them to expect us to leave them anything! (Now they think I am the wicked stepmother.) I want them to learn that there are some things in life that they just cant have. You have to accept it, like it or not. Even when I can afford it for them, there are things I would rather not give them, just to let them have a taste of what it is like to not have something that they want or need. They just have to learn. Mine is the school of hard knocks.

So even though I save, I told hubby that we should say it is saved for us - not them. And no, I am not a scrooge, in fact sometimes I think I spend too much..on whatelse....things for the kids!


NomadicMom said...

Kids these days....EXPECT THIS EXPECT THAT.

I tell mine that whatever they get is a PRIVILEGE That can be taken away. And don't they expect to get whatever their friends have...

healy said...

Waw... seriously, I don't plan such a thing. I save for rainny days of course. But, If I can afford, I'll still get house, car , land, everything for my girl. To me, all she need is the right education. We as parents should educate them how to maintain and create their own wealth. In this case, They will still work hard for a better life.

After all, the rich is getting richer nowadays, don't you think so? No money, almost no happiness.

Just think about it, Did Yeah Thong Lay been spoiled?

BTW, no hard feeling. Just an opinion. :)

Judy said...

I agree! Having said that, we stopped saving for our kids when we migrated to UK due to our change in financial situation so our whole lifestyle too changed.

Kids learnt a lot from this.

tigerfish said...

I agree with your mentality on saving for yourself, and not for the kids. You are one of those few, hor. Many parents "sayang" their kids too much, give them everything and in the end, the kids may take things for granted sometimes. No good!

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi Nomadic mom
yes u are right. They expect all the time. I am one of those that still refuse to get them a gameboy.

Hi Healy
Yes, save for their education, but after that i feel they should not expect too much. Yes rich is getting richer, but they may not be happy, not? Also See what happened to Paris Hilton?
Sorry but I dont know who Yeap Thong Lay is. Malaysian tycoon? No problem in expressing your opinion. Everyone sees things differently. Do for your child as u see fit.

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi Healy and Tigerfish

Glad u both agree with me.

iml said...

Saving for the children's tertiary education should be the biggest investment we can give them. The rest is....well, theirs to achive

Victor said...

Yes, I agree that kids should be taught the value of hard work otherwise they may not appreciate what they have or are given. But one can't deny the fact that in the current buoyant economy, the media is bombarding us with news of how the rich get richer without the need to work really hard for it. With asset inflation and en-bloc sales setting new record highs recently, Singapore has one of the highest growth rates of millionaires in the world.

mott said...

Ha hah..true.

All my hub n I plan to do is get them a house and a car each...and then tell them, the rest is up to you. You'll have a roof over your head and you'll have transport to get to work. But you have to put your own food on your table.


stay-at-home mum said...

Hi iml, victor and mott,
Yes Education is the best investment for our kids. Singapore is just getting too expensive. A dream home for each kid seems to be getting out of reach.(I have 3!)They will just have to work hard and buy their own. Yes and put food on their own tables.

eastcoastlife said...

Very sensible and practical of you. I have this same mentality.

I don't give my son pocket moeny, he has to work for it. He gets money when he helps out in the house or in his Dad's shop. He can bring food from the house to school if he wants.

I'm disappointed that my son isn't 'hungry'. I look at the foreign students, especially those from China. They come here with so limited English and within a year, they can memorised the whole Oxford dictionary and passed their English papers with flying colours. All without the help of tuition teachers. My son how to compete liddat!?

stay-at-home mum said...

Yes, ECL, the chinese kids are really hungry. Many years ago, when our kids went to Australia, the s'poreans and malaysians were the hungry ones. The aussies hated the asians because they were so hungry, and swiped all the awards at schools there. now, that's no longer the case. Sad isnt it?