Wednesday, July 4, 2007

My Mother-in-law

Mother-in-laws have a reputation of being nasty to daughter/son-in-laws. Just look at all those jokes about m-i-ls and you will know what I mean. And I think this comes about because of different upbringing and different expectations.

I was talking to an acquaintance "Hw" yesterday. She made the comment that she is amazed at my relationship with my m-i-l and she commented that we were just like friends.

I told her that is because my m-i-l is "one hell of a woman". You can't find another like her. So helpful and giving. Knows when to back off, and when to intervene. Hw paid me the compliment that it takes 2 hands to clap, and I also played an important part in that fantastic relationship. Thanks Hw, ... I dont know. Sometimes I think I could be a better d-i-l for all that m-i-l has done for me.

M-i-l is quite amazing.... Her typical day is like this. She wakes up at 4.30am. She will then shower, prepare breakfast. Cut fruits for everyone (so that we can have it for breakfast if we like), makes fresh juice for everyone. Then she goes for her morning walk (All these even before our maids wakes up!). When she returns, she will shower (again!) and then have her breakfast. She will then accompany me and Little D to school. After that, it is off to the supermart for some groceries or the wet market for our supplies. When we get home, she will prepare lunch for the kids (mine and her daughters) and ourselves (and the maids too!) M-i-l and I will then have our lunch,and then we are off to pick little D from school. She will then help shower, feed and put Little D to nap whilst I am off to fetch S and N from school. She is with Little D for the whole afternoon until evening whilst I supervise S & N's homework or ferry them to classes.

In the evening, she will feed little D her dinner, and then shower her (again) whilst hubby, S, N & I have our dinner. Then I will take over looking after Little D. She will wait for F-i-l to get home (usually after 7pm) and have dinner with him. After dinner, she will have her shower, and then she will come play with little D whilst we watch TV.

At 9pm, when Little D goes to bed, m-i-l will then go read the newspapers, sew, do her own things until it is her bedtime, usually after 11pm. She is really amazing! Never tiring,and never complains. Even when we tell her that Little D needs to do certain things by herself or that we can watch little D, she will still be around to keep an eye. (Yes! I am a little spoilt by her).

Weekends are hers alone. I make sure I take little D with me everywhere, out of the house, so that m-i-l will be able to do her own things. Every school vacation, she will travel to Australia, to cook and take care of her other grandchild living there.

M-i-l is also a very good seamstress. All those beautiful dresses and shirts that she makes for the kids are the envy of parents that we know. She even makes party dresses and fancy dress costumes for the kids.

We frequently go shopping (dresses, jewellers and the bookshop) together. Even when she is ill, she puts us all 1st! She times her visits to her doctors to when we will not need her help, usually during the vacation or weekends.

Isn't she amazing? And, best of all, am I not blessed? Hw commented that we both get along like a house on fire, and another friend calls my m-i-l my partner in crime.
This is for you M-i-L .... so that the kids will remember what you have done for us all these years!! Thanks!


Jonzz said...

Wow, you are lucky.

But seriously are all mother in laws that bad or is it just a lame generalization that has been carried too long by the media?

Victor said...

>we both get along like a house on fire, and another friend calls my m-i-l my partner in crime

What a way to describe your excellent relationship with your MIL, haha. You are indeed fortunate to have her.

My MIL and FIL help out a great deal with our household chores like cooking, washing, cleaning and child-minding too. We are very grateful for their assistance. Without them, I don't think my wife can hold a full-time job.

iml said...

And this for the record:
Your MIL is a gem!!! A rare find.
I agree. It takes two to clap. On your part, you have been understanding enough to give her, the weekends. You are one lucky stay at home mum.

bp said...

Wow, where does your MIL find so much energy with so little sleep? Hw is right, it takes two to clap, and your MIL must be very happy to have you as her DIL =)

mott said...

WOW! That is fantastic!

You are very lucky eh.. I like the part where she knows how to back off. Most ILs don't know that there is a line.

Judy said...

Good mothers-in-law are hard to find and what more to be able to get along like friends with your m-i-l is a true blessing.
It is also correct to say that it takes two to tango.
Of course you mother-in-law sees that you are a good d-i-l otherwise she won't be doing what she is doing.
I always tell myself that I want to be a good mother-in-law like my mother. Her sons-in-law and daughter-in-law look up to her and respect her.

stay-at-home mum said...

Hi Jonzz
Believe me, there are some mils that are impossible. My mil had one that was very difficult.

Hi Victor
yes, we depend alot on them to help us out, esp when hubby and I need a nite out. Our maids dont watch the kids at all!!

Hi iml
Thanks for popping by. Yes! I am so lucky.

Hi bp
I dont know where she finds the energy from. I have only half of hers!

Hi Mott
yes, backing off is the difficult bit. I am lucky she knows when to do it. ;)

Hi Judy
I am sure you will be a good mil.

tigerfish said...

I think she loves her "job" - it's her "passion". You are so lucky.

stay-at-home mum said...

Yes tigerfish, I am indeed lucky!

Mommy to Chumsy said...

Wow...your MIL is are really blessed ;D

mumsgather said...


stay-at-home mum said...

Yes mommy to chumsy, I am really blessed.

fishtail said...

You are really very blessed to have such a good MIL. Many many others are not as fortunate as you. That's why a book such as the one below was written:

Hijackqueen said...

Like you say, it takes 2 to clap. If you be nice to her, she will be nice to you and vice versa. Keep that up ;)